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OPPORTUNISTIC
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VISITOR NO.00000000
You are visitor number that. Congratulations. Nothing happens. π΅ MIDI PLAYER π΅Now playing: unskippable_fanfare.mid (You will regret this.) SIGN OF THE TIMES
BEST VIEWED IN
NETSCAPE 4.7 800x600 OR GET OUT MADE ON A PC, ANGRILY Y2K COMPLIANT* *not compliant β WEB RING βThe Litigious Gentlemen Web Ring (All other members have blocked me.) AWARDSπ SITE OF THE DAY π₯ MOST HATED π CEASE & DESIST ADOPT A GRUDGEπ This is Gary. Gary is my grudge. Gary has been with me since 2003 and he is thriving. |
πΊ WHO IS THIS ABSOLUTE BASTARD πΊOH, NOW YOU'RE INTERESTED! You had the idea. You said it in a meeting. You said it in a pub. You said it in a group chat with fourteen people in it, one of whom was me, and you did precisely nothing about it for eleven days. I did something about it in four minutes, on my phone, on a bus, using a card with a Β£9 limit. And now here we are, and you're on my website, scrolling, seething, doing that thing with your jaw. THAT'S NOT THEFT. THAT'S INITIATIVE. "He's not a villain, he's a logistics problem." β someone's solicitor, allegedly
π THE HALL OF SHAME πA living monument to people who were slightly too slow. Updated whenever I'm bored.
Think you should be on this list? You probably already are. Scroll harder. π£ THE COMPLAINTS DEPARTMENT π£GO ON THEN. LET'S HEAR IT. Complaints are no longer accepted on this page. Too many of you were typing them into the guestbook, into the mailing list box, and on one occasion into the visitor counter. The whole business has been handed to a proper department with a proper form, because nothing takes the wind out of a furious man like being asked to complete Part C. It is twenty-two questions long. It has a reference number. It has a privacy notice. It asks how many people you have told, and then it asks how many of them agreed with you. Bring a drink. π PROCEED TO FORM UC-22 π Universal Complaints & User Narrative Tracker Β· Office of Complaints Administration Β· average completion time fourteen minutes π° BUY IT BACK π°EVERYTHING IS FOR SALE. THAT'S THE WHOLE POINT. Domain? Available. Trademark? Available. Your mum? Available, lol. Make me an offer. Make it a good one. I can see how long you spend on this page and it's frankly quite a lot. β FREQUENTLY SCREAMED QUESTIONS β
π SIGN MY GUESTBOOK πEntries are stored in your own browser, because I am not paying for a database to host abuse. π MY COOL LINKS π |
β URGENT βSOMEONE IS BUYING YOUR IDEA RIGHT NOW It's me. It's always me. It's been me for years. TODAY'S BASTARDRYLoading a fresh outrageβ¦ COMPLAINTS RECEIVED000000
Resolved: 0 POLL OF THE WEEKShould he be stopped? Yes96%
No2%
He's me2%
Voting closed. Result ignored. SITE STATS
Figures refresh when I remember. π LIVE FIGURES πStraight from the Complaints Department. These ones are real.
Fetchingβ¦ π DO NOT PRESS π
Nothing on this page makes a sound until you press something. You pressed it. MAILING LISTGet an email every time I acquire something of yours. πΎ DOWNLOADS πΎ
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